


Bet You Weren't Expecting This

by BaraLinni



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 05:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14037312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaraLinni/pseuds/BaraLinni
Summary: Braig has been meeting up with a mysterious man outside the castle, and the Castle Boys make it their mission to find out why...Alternatively titled: An AU Where Everything Is the Same But Braig and Master Xehanort Are Dating





	Bet You Weren't Expecting This

**Author's Note:**

> I blame a late night conversation about STX's (Sexually Transmitted Xehanorts)

“He’s here again”.

Aeleus let slip a surprised 'oomph’ when his short remark resulted in two bodies squashing him up against the window at an alarming speed.

Dilan stretched his neck to peer over Aeleus’s shoulder while Even bent down to somehow squeeze himself between Aeleus and the window. A concentrated silence fell as the three of them studied the man standing outside. Before long, a second person meandered over to join the first, his telltale gait giving him away instantly.

Even gasped. “It _is_ Braig, I _knew_ it!”

Dilan furrowed his brow. “Yes, but who’s the other man?”

Even squinted. “I don’t think I recognise him from town… What are they doing, meeting up like this so often?”

Dilan leaned further into Aeleus and pressed his nose up against the window. “Maybe he’s some sort of merchant?” he suggested.

Even considered this and bit his lip. “... What if he’s some sort of… substance dealer?”

“You mean of drugs?” Dilan shifted to try and get a more favourable line of sight.

“... I was thinking more along the lines of dysfunctional fireworks but that is so much worse”.

Outside, Braig moved to stand with his back to the window, blocking the other person from view.

“Nooo! What’s he doing?” Even complained and squirmed to try to change his viewing angle. “Are they standing closer to each other now? What are they doing?”

“It’s hard to say”. Dilan grunted as Even’s elbow connected with his ribs. “Ouch”.

“Sorry”.

“Maybe they’re kissing”.

Dilan and Even turned their heads toward Aeleus’s face. “ _What?_ ”

Aeleus smiled down at them. “I’m joking”.

Even breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness, because I did _not_ need that image in my head right now”.

“Definitely”, Dilan huffed. “That man looks like he’s been around since before recorded history”.

Even squinted through the window as Braig finally moved to the side, giving them a better look at the stranger’s face.  He scrunched his nose. “Yes, he has not aged well, that’s for certain”.

“Oh, and you have?” Dilan grinned and was promptly swatted in the chest.

“Shush, you. I’ll have you know that plenty of people find my tasteful maturity attractive”.

“Maybe Braig just likes older guys…”

Once again, Even’s and Dilan’s heads snapped toward Aeleus, both fully intent on reprimanding him for putting unwanted images in their heads, but they were interrupted by a soft voice.

“I think you’re all old”.

Three sets of eyes turned toward the sound as little Ienzo sauntered into the room and climbed onto a table, kicking his legs while he studied the three men still pressed up against the window.

He took a judgemental bite of his ice cream. “What are you doing?”

“Cleaning”, Dilan lied.

“Practising”, Even lied only half a second too late.

They gave each other a look and Ienzo rolled his eyes.

“If you’re gonna lie, then at least do it properly”. He took another bite of ice cream before smiling knowingly. “Do you want me to tell you what I know?”

Silence fell as Ienzo studied the others with a calculating look, and at that point, everybody knew that there would be no point in denying their obvious curiosity.

Ienzo interpreted their silence as confirmation, and gave a secretive smile. “Braig used to meet up with him in town, but they’ve started meeting closer and closer to the castle”.

Even was already losing his patience with Ienzo’s familiar cryptid ways. “Yes, but _why?_ ” he asked, trying to not let his almost desperate curiosity show in his voice. “Why do they keep meeting each other? What kind of relationship do they have?”

“Now that”, Ienzo pointed a finger in their direction, and the three men subconsciously shuffled closer to him in anticipation, “would be telling”.

Three frustrated groans filled the room while Ienzo went back to finishing off his ice cream. He stuffed the empty stick into his pocket before he slid off the table and sauntered over to the door. He hesitated for a second before he decided to throw them a clue over the shoulder.

“The answer’s simpler than you think”. He turned around to leave, but looked back once again. He cocked his head slightly and smirked. “And his name’s Xehanort”.

He disappeared through the door and left the others in contemplative silence.

“Xehanort…” Even finally muttered and threw a suspicious squint at the two men outside. “That sounds like a drug dealer to me”.

~~

Even and Dilan peeked out from their hiding place to see Braig shuffle down the hallway in front of them. He was walking stiffly and dividing his weight unevenly, which gave the impression that he was limping. He made a beeline for the kitchen and turned on the lights, and from their hiding place, the sound of the fridge and several cupboards opening and closing was clearly audible.

Dilan looked down to meet Even’s eyes, cocking an eyebrow in question.

Even nodded gravely and they both started inching down the hallway. That is, until they noticed the lack of a large presence behind them. Without a word, they reached behind the corner they had been hiding behind and pulled a very reluctant Aeleus out by his wrists. His clearly unwilling face and the way his hands were locked in place made him look more like a prisoner than an accomplice.

“I told you-” he muttered, and Even’s hand flew up to cover his mouth, cutting off whatever he was about to say. With a defeated sigh and with Even’s hand firmly clamped across his mouth, Aeleus was walked to the kitchen door, where he was freed when Dilan and Even hurriedly pressed themselves flush against the wall.

As one, Even and Dilan leaned over to peek in through the kitchen door, catching sight of Braig as he plopped down on a chair and winced. They raised an eyebrow at each other. Had Braig gotten himself hurt again?

It was then that a big shadow passed in front of them, and Even gasped when he realised that the shadow was Aeleus. He was blowing their cover! Even reached out to pull him back, but his fingers barely brushed Aeleus’s clothes before he was out of reach. Even almost stomped his foot in irritation when Braig grinned up at Aeleus.

“Hey, fancy meetin’ you here”.

Even blinked. Was Braig’s voice even raspier than usual?

“Discretion was never my strong suit”, Aeleus rumbled as he reached for the coffee pot and Braig ground out a hoarse chuckle.

“You an’ me both, then”, he said and took a huge bite out of a monstrosity of a sandwich. Then he peered at Aeleus with a sly grin. “Aren’t you gonna ask 'bout my night?”

Aeleus concentrated on pouring his coffee. “No”.

Braig seemed to deflate slightly before his grin widened again. “That’s fine. You keep out of gossip an’ I respect that. Y'know, unlike _some people_ who think I can’t see 'em hidin’ behind the door”. He turned his head to wink at Dilan and Even. “Why don’t you two come have some coffee an’ I’ll tell you all about it”.

Both Even and Dilan held their breath and stayed still, just in case Braig was bluffing. When he still kept his eyes on the door and his grin on his face, they finally stepped out of their hiding place and performed a dignified walk of shame to the coffee pot.

Braig’s grin turned into a thoughtful frown. “Now I think 'bout it, you probably shouldn’t drink coffee this late at night. Messes you up real bad in my experience”.

Even huffed. “You sound quite ‘messed up’ yourself”.

Braig elicited a wheeze that was probably meant to be a laugh. “Yeah, been keepin’ busy, so to speak. Lots of screaming and such, you know how it is”. He winked again.

“No”. Even narrowed his eyes at the wink. “I do, in fact, not know, and we would all very much like to know what it is that you have been keeping secret. Especially regarding that man that you’ve been meeting”. His face took on a stern expression, which was Even’s way of showing worry. “We just want to make sure that you do not get yourself into any serious trouble”.

Braig laughed again. “Come on, Even. You know that secrets and trouble just ain’t me”.

Even rolled his eyes and Dilan crossed his arms over his chest.

Braig looked between the two of them and his grin turned into a confused frown. “You really have no idea?”

They shook their heads.

Braig snorted and shook his head in amusement. “Well, it’s not like I’ve tried to hide it or anything. 'Course, now I get to make the official reveal myself”. He laughed again before he showcased the widest grin ever seen. “Well, it’s like this: that guy - Xehanort - and me, we…” His expression grew thoughtful as he searched for the right wording.

The others stared at him in anticipation, barely breathing.

Braig shrugged and chuckled.  “I guess you could say we’re kind of dating”.

His words were met with complete silence.

After a minute or so of stunned staring, Even forced out a too loud and obviously nervous laugh. “Well done, Braig. You almost had me fooled there”.

Braig met his eyes. “I’m not fooling anyone. He and I are together”.

The sincerity in that look made the laughter visibly drain from Even’s face while Dilan snapped his head up from his coffee cup. Even Aeleus peered over his shoulder, bracing himself for the worst.

Braig grinned. “He and I fuck”.

The kitchen was immediately filled with groans of revulsion and agony.

“ _Please_ tell me you’re joking”, Dilan puffed between his teeth.

“I’ll gladly share the details if that’ll convince you”. Braig waggled his eyebrows and Dilan covered his eyes with his hands.

“No, thank you, I will manage just fine without”.

“You sure? We’ve done some pretty wild stuff, might be educational”.

“Braig, please”. Even was also covering his eyes. “I do _not_ want to picture any part of that man, undressed or otherwise”.

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew how ripped he is”, Braig said dreamily and Even made a face with a complimentary sound that suggested that he was most definitely picturing a partially undressed and undeniably muscular Xehanort.

Aeleus kept most of his face turned away as he gave Braig a once-over. “... I didn’t think you went for guys that old”.

Braig shrugged. “Neither did I”. Then he laughed. “You know, now I think about it, isn’t this kind of like I have a sugar daddy?”

He guffawed at the collective ‘ _NO!_ ’ that this comment was met with. “Relax, I was just kiddin’. He doesn’t give me anything except d-”

“ _No!_ ” Dilan almost shouted while Even quickly covered his ears. “No details, please”.

“Suit yourselves”, Braig shrugged and took another gigantic bite from his sandwich. He hummed as he felt something running down his chin, and used his hand to wipe off the considerable amount of barbeque sauce. “Woah, there it goes. Never was any good at swallowin-”

“ _STOP!_ ”


End file.
